Princess Gertie – The Beast and Beauty

The fifth day of school came and we had to read a book. It was called, “How to Tame a Beast in Three Days.”

“Now Princesses, this is a very important book. After all, you never know when a beast might be a handsome prince in disguise. You must try and be kind and tame every beast you meet, just in case.”

I raised my hand. ‘But what if the beast isn’t a prince? What if he is just a mean old beast and he wants to eat us or lock us in a dungeon? Why should we try to tame him?”

“BECAUSE THAT IS JUST WHAT PRINCESSES DO!” Princess Penelope said rather loudly. I don’t think she had an answer to my question. I don’t think she likes my questions very much either.

Charm School – Day Six

On the sixth day it was time for beauty school. Princess Penelope took off her crown and let her hair fall down. It fell all the way to the floor and all around her feet. No wonder she always has a headache. All that hair has to hurt.

“Ladies, your hair is most important. You must let it grow very, very long. You must brush it 100 times a day. You must take care of it. After all,” she winked, “you never know when some handsome prince is going to have to climb up it to rescue you.”

“Ummm,” I was afraid to even ask, “Doesn’t it hurt to have your hair that long? Don’t you roll over it in the middle of the night or trip on it while you are walking? Can’t that prince just use a ladder if we actually got stuck in a tower? Couldn’t he climb a rope? Why do we have to have hair that long?”

“I think you know the answer to that one Princess Gertrude!”

“Let me guess, because that is just what Princesses do?”

“You’re learning!” Princess Penelope beamed at me. They can make me learn it but it doesn’t mean I have to do it. I looked around at all of the other princesses who were smiling and looking neat as a pin. I wanted to run over and mess up their hair. I wanted to rip the bows on their dresses. I wanted to break every last glass slipper, but I guess those are all things that princesses must never do.