I’m Just Not Good At Being Bad – It’s a Problem

Hi! I have been going round and round for months about a children’s book I wrote. It’s a good book. It even has potential to be a series. It could be funny. It could be uplifting. I think kids would really like it…. but…..

Growing up, I was the quintessential good girl. I got straight A’s. I did my chores. I made curfew. I didn’t even drink until I was 20. The most rebellious thing I did was to be where I wasn’t supposed to be (but on two of those occasions I went on a church hayride and ice skating.) What can I say? I was sheltered. My parents were a wee bit overprotective. The only thing that ever got me in trouble was my mouth – I had and still have a tendency to be bratty when the occasion calls for it. To this day, I always put myself last. I get into situations that drive my husband crazy because I cannot say no. You want help? I’m your girl. You need me to do anything? Just ask. I don’t care how thin it spreads me or how much anxiety I get from doing it. I will always be willing to help out. And the other problem is – I want people to like me. So yeah I will go the extra mile because honestly, I am also bad at being disliked. I’m a doormat.

Why is this a problem when it comes to writing? I need bad guys. I need crimes. I need to think nefariously. I need to delve into the deep dark corners of my mind, but those spaces are filled with cobwebs and the spiders are exceedingly polite. (Did I mention I am also the optimist? I like happy. I really, really, really like happy.) Writing dark and twisted is a challenge. Horror is my nemesis. I am just not good at being bad. It’s a problem.