“Welcome to the headquarters of The World’s Strangest Superheroes!” Captain Pancake said the name with a flourish and raised his eyebrows as if to ask Nick if the name was any better. Nick just shook his head no but he did gaze in amazement at the room around him. There were computer stations glowing on several tables, just waiting to begin the scary task of fighting crime. In tall glass cylinders around the room, hung superhero outfits in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colors. There were couches and bean bag chairs scattered around. In one corner there was an old pinball machine showing the Addams Family and in another, some game called Pac Man that looked like it was from another time and place. There was a huge table in the middle where the heroes could hold meetings or gather to eat. Nick noticed a large aquarium in the middle of the room. It was filled with sticks and leaves, a water dish, a food dish and nothing else. “Uh…Captain Pancake, what’s supposed to be in the tank?” “Oh not supposed to be…he is in there. That’s Neville, our chameleon.” “I don’t see him.” “Of course not, I don’t see him either, haven’t for days. Chameleon’s are really good at camouflage, blending in with their environments.” “Are you sure he is in there?” “Positive.” Nick was not sure at all.
Nick couldn’t see what was beyond this room but there were several doors. As he was noticing all the details of command central, a man came into the room. “CP,” he called, “I thought I heard the cheese mobile. When’s the kid getting here?” The man was busy looking down and reading a comic book. He didn’t even notice that Nick was in the room. Nick looked at the man. He was short and squat. His head was almost square and his black hair was cut in short spikes making his head even more like a box. “He’s right here. Nick, may I present another superhero? He has the amazing ability to morph.” “Wicked!” Nick said. “What kinds of things do you morph into?” “A cube.” “And?” “Nope, nothing else, just a cube.” “Oh.” Captain Pancake interrupted, “We call him, Morph!” Nick smiled at the obvious name. “Morph has been a member of Secondary Superheroes nearly as long as I have.” Captain Pancake explained and nodded at Nick, asking silently if this name would stick. Again, Nick shook his head no. “Secondary Superheroes sounds like you aren’t as good as any of the others out there.” “Well, we really aren’t,” said Cube Man. No one had confidence around here.
Captain Pancake walked over to the intercom. “Attention all Superheroes! Attention all Superheroes! All Members of The Ones You Call When Everyone Else is Busy, please report to command central immediately. Thank you.” Nick could hear the sounds of doors opening and closing and footsteps coming toward the room. He could not wait to meet the entire squad. Captain Pancake looked at Nick and said, “We really do have to do something about that name.” Nick laughed.
The heroes sat around the table and Captain Pancake began the introductions. Nick looked at the man next to Morph. He was tall and skinny. He had thick glasses and several bruises. “Nick, you have already met Sixty Second Flight Girl and Morph. As you can see there are seven others here for you to meet. This is Blumsy. Blumsy can run really fast, so fast in fact he goes by in a blur but he is really, really clumsy.” “Hi, how you doing?” Blumsy stood up to shake Nick’s hand, fell out of his chair and managed to get a nasty paper cut on his way down to the floor. “Sorry,” he said, his voice sounded like his nose was always stuffy. Standing up and clearly embarrassed; he went to wash his hand in a nearby sink, tripping over his own feet on the way. “I see what you mean,” said Nick.
“Next to Blumsy, is Missy Fit. Missy can let out a scream so loud that she can break glass. We have to be very careful not to scare her. We lose more windows that way….” “Nice to meet you,” said Missy in an incredibly high pitched voice. Missy Fit looked like a cheerleader, with perfect blonde hair pulled back in a high ponytail and huge blue eyes. Nick smiled thinking that his friend Kate, would love to meet her.
Nick looked at the next man. He was short and round. His eyes stuck out from the sockets in the oddest way. He didn’t seem to have any hair except for two long strands that were wound around the top of his otherwise bald head. “Nick this is Buzz. Buzz can turn into any insect. He is especially good at turning into a fly. If he tries something else, he usually keeps his head or body or arms …. It’s kind of scary looking.” “So good to make your acquaintance,” said Buzz. He spoke so quickly that Nick could barely hear him. “Oh and one more thing, keep mirrors away from Buzz.” “Why?” “He’s afraid of bugs,” Captain Pancake told him, shaking his head. Nick tried very hard not to laugh.
“At the end of the table opposite me, we have Bounce, bet you would never guess his power.” Captain Pancake challenged Nick. “Hmmm, let me think, he shoots bouncy balls.” Nick guessed. Captain Pancake shook his head no. “He can bounce really high?” No again. “I give up. What is his power?” “Bounce and Missy, show him.” Captain Pancake told them. “Gladly,” said Bounce, winking and shooting his fingers at CP. Bounce was really tall and skinny. He looked like a basketball player. Bounce and Missy Fit moved to the center of the room. Bounce put his hands down on the floor behind his head and left his feet on the ground so he looked like a table. Missy Fit took a running jump and landed squarely on Bounce’s stomach. She vaulted high into the air. Nick blinked. “He’s a human trampoline!” “Very good,” said Sixty Second Flight Girl, “you catch on quick.” Nick ignored her.
“Next to Bounce is Bob.” Bob looked perfect. There was no other way to describe him. He had perfect hair and perfect clothes. Bob stood up and walked over to Nick, pressing his hands against his suit. “It is extremely nice to meet you young man.” Nick blinked. He could have sworn that Bob’s eyeballs were dollar signs. When he blinked again, the image was gone. Nick shook Bob’s well-groomed hand and Bob returned to his seat. Nick looked at Captain Pancake, hoping he would explain. “Bob doesn’t have any super powers. He is our only norm. Bob wants super powers, it is his dream and the one thing he cannot get. Bob is incredibly rich and buys all the toys that could make him a hero, but he’s a nice guy so we let him stick around.” Bob smiled. “Oh,” said Captain Pancake, “I forgot to mention, Bob has bleached his teeth so much, he is on his way to blinding people with his smile.” Bob smiled, thinking his teeth-bleaching plan might actually work. Nick wished for sunglasses.
“The man with the extremely long legs is Jack … Jumping Jack. He can jump extremely far.” “So you are able to leap tall buildings in a…..” Jack scowled. “Don’t go there,” Jack said folding his arms grumpily. “Sorry, sensitive subject. Jack can only leap in a straight line. He can’t jump up.”
“Next we have Torch.” Nick looked confused. He guessed, “He can set things on fire?” “No, of course not,” said Torch, “that would be extremely dangerous.” Torch clapped once, the lights went off and he glowed, an eerie blue glow. “Accident in a glow stick factory,” said Torch as an explanation. “Very cool,” Nick said. Torch glowed a little brighter, clapped twice and turned the lights back on.
The last man, sat between Torch and Morph. He was the only hero that Nick was actually afraid of. The man looked angry. No, that wasn’t right, he looked strict. Nick felt like he had done something wrong just by sitting in the room with the man. “This,” said Captain Pancake “is The Principal.” Nick understood now why he felt so scared. “The Principal can memorize phone books, from seven different counties at a time. We don’t know if that will ever come in handy but it seems like it might. And now you have met the Friends Are Really Tough team.” Nick looked at Captain Pancake and burst out laughing. “FART? You want your team name to spell out FART?” Nick could not stop laughing and everyone else joined in.
Shannon McCauley - Author 
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