Chapter Twenty: Revelations

The morning found Carrie with a tired and achy body. Sneezes took her as soon as she opened her eyes. She pulled the coverlet up to her chin and she was not able to get warm. “Damn it!” she said to herself. “Why did I walk home in the rain?” You know why you walked home in the rain because Jon hurt you and because calling Charlie would have resulted in a war that you were not ready to fight. Better to keep it to yourself and get the flu then to hurt him or make him angry. But in the end, she had anyway.  Weakly she arose from her bed, dragging her comforter with her. She carefully made her way down the steps. Everything seemed a blur. She poured herself some orange juice. Sipping it, Carrie wandered into the living room.

She sat in the rocking chair, wrapping the blanket closely around her. Her body was chilled,], yet her fever had spiked to 104. Gazing into the fire seemed to relax hut as she stared, she felt drained. The crackling of the logs on the fireplace was providing a constant rhythm that was lulling her into sleep. A sudden chill swept through her body, as the shadows on the wall seemed to take form. She stared in silence as she watched the eerie tableau play out before her eyes.

The shapes of her hallucination resembled dancers, dancers in long gowns and old-fashioned suits. They were drawing her into their festivities, extending their arms in greeting and she went with them into their merrymaking, feeling at once accepted and at home. Sleep overtook her and her dreams became reality, Carrie became Susannah.

Susannah’s Dance

Susannah felt welcomed at once. Bolstered by the many society women who had quickly become her friends, her nervousness disappeared at attending the Governor’s ball. Why she should be nervous was beyond her. It was accepted that she would go to her brother’s home without her husband. People would not think twice about it. No one would talk. But still she wished that Stephen was by her side. Why on earth did he have to leave again? Sometimes she swore that the boat meant more to him then their marriage.

Susannah was a beautiful site to behold that night. Men were gawking at her from all around the room. They would fill her dance card quickly. The Governor noticed her from across the crowded dance floor and when the first quadrille began, he would have the opportunity to get close to her; to touch her hands, to absorb the scent of her body, to feel the glossy tresses. William’s thirst for her grew. He hungered after her just as he had done all those years ago. He wanted to claim her for his own, his sweet innocent little “sister.”

Her auburn hair danced in the soft light of flames that were cast in the room. Her beautiful silken tendrils were framing her delicate features. They cascaded over the gossamer gown. With wings she could have been a fairy and indeed was near so in spirit. So happy was her heart in her new love. So blissful, innocent, and childlike was she still. It drove men crazy.

Finally, the steps of the dance led him to her. “Susannah.“ he said as their hands touched. Nervously she nodded back to him, “Governor.”   She watched him out of the corner of her eyes, her mistrust growing with every step. She had not liked William from the first day they met and that had not changed. This queasy feeling was growing in the pit of her stomach. Something terrible was going to happen; she could feel it.

The music ended and Susannah turned quickly endeavoring to fold into the throng of people crowded around the ballroom. She felt his clammy hand on her arm, steadying her, holding her fast in place. He used that hand to guide her to the balcony.

“Your Honor,” said Susannah, effecting a deep courtesy,

“Come now, Susannah we need not be so formal. After all we know each other…” he paused, searching for the right word and with an evil grin he replied, “intimately.”

Susannah, more naïve then many her age and of her status in life, missed his inference. She stared at him, not comprehending what he wanted.

“Tonight, my dear, you will come to me after the ball. You will join me in the private quarters.”

“Begging your pardon sir, but I cannot possibly join you in your quarters. I am a married woman, and it would not be proper. It would be indecent without Stephen.”

“Oh, you mistake me Susannah. I want you and you alone to come to me. Like I came to you all those years ago.”

The flames of the torches in the courtyard below illuminated his features in an obscene light. Darkness enveloped the man, evil emanating from him that the devil himself would have been envious of.

“Perhaps my lovely,” he said as one finger cupped her chin, “You have forgotten that.”

Susannah got the distinct impression that the man was a snake, his skin so cold and clammy.

“Forgotten?” she struggled out the words as fear gripped her throat. “That…that was you? All those nightmares, the monster…you were the monster. They were real…. You …you Bastard!”

Her hand reached out to strike him in the face, but his vice-like grip stopped it in mid-air. And in the darkness, he laughed, a deep monstrous laugh that echoed into the emptiness below them.

“Now Susannah, you will not make a scene,” he snarled, “What would all of your society friends think?”

“I care not what they think, and I will not come to you this evening! I will never come to you. I would not dishonor my husband in that way.”

“If you will not come to me dearest little one, I shall have to disclose our little secret to your husband.”

“Tell him! Go on! See what it gets you. Stephen loves me, he will forgive me!”

“Do you think so my sweet? I admire your faith in him. Your assumption that he will forgive you is very touching. Now if it were me and I discovered my new marriage was based on lies why I might banish my wife from my home and disgrace her like the untruthful wench she was.”

“Stephen would not do that to me, and should you tell him I will be forced to tell this town about the monster that resides in governor’s clothing.”

He laughed at her again, “My precious angel you are truly a fool. You think that people will believe you? I have power. You are a conniving lying wench who tricked her way into society by climbing a social ladder that she had no right to be on. No, my pet, I think they will believe me their esteemed and respected governor.”

Susannah scoffed at him and his mindless drivel but somewhere in her heart she knew he was right. She was so unsure of herself that she knew not if Stephen would forgive her. She knew only that this would ruin her and bring him down with her and it was a risk that she could not take. She nodded her assent meekly to Satan in the guise of a man. And she melted into the throng of friends, determined to let no one see her shameful secret. Stephen must never know.

Carrie faded in and out of consciousness and was very sick when Buffy found her that afternoon. The doctor had come but could not get in and incorrectly assumed that she had left the house. Buffy was frightened by the state of her friend. She called Charlie immediately. The doctor had returned and elected to treat Carrie at home unless her symptoms got worse. Charlie agreed but it worried him. He was pacing feverishly. Finally, he moved across the floor and found a seat. The chair groaned under his girth; it’s old frame not willing to support another hardship.

The next trip into the shadows, found Carrie very weak, not much better in her dreams then she was in real life. She was sick very, very sick and broken hearted or at least Susannah was.

Susannah’s Secret

Susannah walked to out the windows and to the walkway on the side of her bedroom. She hated this place and loved it at the same time. She felt so ill. Where was he? Why must he travel like this? He had no need to be a merchant. His family was wealthy. They could have lived comfortably. But Stephen would not be a kept man. He insisted on going away. And he had. He would return in a fortnight. He would come back to find her body changed. She was already swollen with child. The child, she thought would be a son, but only in name. And only one other knew the secret and that other would never tell.

Carrie sat up in bed. It took all her strength. Her wild fevered eyes searched the darkness. “Charlie, Charlie!!!!!!” she screamed, and he bolted up the stairs as fast as he could go.

“What? What do you need are you all right?” he asked while he flipped on the dim bedside light.

He looked like hell she noted though she had no idea why. “He raped her! It was his son!”

“What? Carrie you are delusional, lay down and get some rest.”

“No, no don’t you see?” she was pleading with him again. “Don’t you see? It was not Stephen’s little boy that is why she haunts. That is what she wants me to know. She was raped. William raped her.” She managed to tell him before she fell back asleep.

Charlie ran a wet washcloth over her head. Her fever was down dramatically. She was on the mend. He turned to leave the bedroom but her small voice stopped him once again.

“Charlie, I love you.” She said and went back to sleep.

Another delusion? He had to get out of here. She was on the mend it was time for him to go. He stopped to wake Buffy and tell her that all was well. Lea would be there the next day and Carrie would be fine. Then maybe she could wrap her head around what she wanted from him and what he wanted from her.