Chapter Ten: The Party

I let the hot water cascade down my body like a hundred tiny rivulets. It still amazes me how you can feel absolutely worn out and you take a hot shower and it rejuvenates you body and soul. I was aiming for that. I just wanted one night to forget my past and not worry about my future. I reached my hand up and touched the stream, feeling it touch my fingertips and make a waterfall all about me.

I truly pampered myself that night. I did my hair in a French twist. I slipped into my full white swing skirt and the matching white sleeveless top. Yep, that’s right. I said sleeveless and that was perfectly scandalous to some people back then. The top was trimmed with a black collar and five black buttons. As I slipped into my sandals I felt like a princess. I was going to a ball in my honor and I twirled around in front of my mirror just to see how well my skirt would swing.

By the time I was finished primping, Cleo, Don and Joe were already downstairs with the car packed and ready to go. Grammy was entertaining them with stories of her seventeenth birthday. I guess the three of them had been around so much they just kind of grew on her. We thanked her for everything, got into Cleo’s car and drove off into the night.

As we neared the beach they made me close my eyes. Donny held his hands there just so I would not peek. They practically walked me out of the car and towards the sea; I could hear the ocean in front of me and the highway becoming a distant rumble of rubber screeching on asphalt. Its funny how one sense gets stronger as another is taken away.

Donny uncovered my eyes and with that at least fifty voices yelled out, “SURPRISE!”

I was amazed. Tiny Japanese lanterns were strung on wires from one end of that strip of that beach to the other, their small glowing flames reflecting on the water, making the ripples flicker magically. There were tables on which the food was being setup and a record player spinning all of our favorite tunes. I didn’t know how they did that one a plain strip of beach and I didn’t care. I felt like a princess.  There were presents piled up in the corner of our makeshift dance floor. There were people dancing in the sand and some were frolicking in the waves. It was a beautiful night.

I danced every dance that night from the “Twist” to the “Freddy.” We must have looked insane kicking up all that dust as we kicked up our feet but no one cared. When someone changed the record to Elvis’ “It’s Now or Never” I walked off the dance floor to grab a coke and catch my breath.

“Having a good time at your party princess?” Donny asked.

“Oh thank you, thank you so much. I feel like I am dreaming,” and with that I was bold enough to throw my arms around his neck. Embarrassed by my forwardness, I tried to pull away only to find that he was holding me in his strong embrace. When I did pull away, I was staring into his eyes, the deep black pools, mirroring the emotions that I was feeling. I knew I was falling in love for the very first time. Subconsciously, I reached up and tried to pat that wayward lock of black hair back into place.

He caught my hand and brought his wrist to my lips and kissed it very gently. We were drawn to each other, our lips finding each other in a very tender moment, my very first kiss. We held that kiss for a while and I was not surprised to find his hands roaming in places that no one had dared go before. I was pleasantly surprised to find him kissing me again and this time deeper then before. He pulled away gently and our eyes met again. With words unspoken he took my hand and led me to the dance floor, where we glided across the floor in each other’s arms, oblivious to the world around us.

After the dance was over, he left me for a moment and went in search of Cleo. I hoped I wasn’t stepping on anyone’s toes here. I never knew just what the relationship was between the two of them. I was staring up at the stars and wondering if we would ever make it into space. So far the lunar explorations had been less then successful. Both Sputnik expeditions in the early part of this year had fizzled and the Vanguard probes had not faired any better so far. An angry voice brought me out of my reverie.

“You bitch! How could you do this to me?”

I turned, not knowing who to expect behind me. The voice was low, dulled by the drone of the music.

“Joe?” I was stunned, puzzled. What had I done? He had never spoken to me this way before.

“You kissed him, right out here in front of everybody. You kissed him and made me look like a fool.”

“How did I do that Joe? It was just a kiss.” I was really confused. He must have felt I did something wrong but what?

“I thought we had an understanding. I thought that we were… we were… that you were dating me,” he said and he was so infuriated that he barely got the words out.

“Joe, we never said we were dating. I am sorry if I led you to believe that.” But I hadn’t had I? “We’re friends Joe, nothing more.”

“But we do everything together, have done everything together for so long. I thought you cared about me. I guess… I guess… I was wrong.” His voice changed now from rage and indignation to whine and defeat.

“You’re not wrong, Joe,” and I was quick to add something else before he got his hopes up. “I do care about you Joe, but you are a friend, nothing more. I don’t feel that way about you. Never have.”

“You’re a heartless little bitch,” he said, the anger seething once again. “You didn’t care about me at all did you? You just used me when there was no one else around. Now what? Now that he is in the picture I’ll be cast aside. No need for good old faithful Joe anymore.”

I didn’t understand. I had tried to let him down easy, but he was still angry with me. I felt his words rush around me and take over me like I was trapped in a tornado full of insults. I had never felt as bad about myself as I did right then. And yet, at the same time, I think I had the quiet knowledge that I had done nothing wrong.

“Joe, I don’t know what to say to you to make it better.”

“You can’t. What words can you say to someone when you used them; tore their heart into shreds? I can’t believe you did this to me. You’re just like the rest of your family uncaring, unscrupulous.”

Now it was my turn to get angry and by this point it was turning into a shouting match for all our friends to witness.

“Like you’ve never used someone in your life Joe? You used me to get to all these people. You used me to make your voice heard when no one would listen to you otherwise. You used me when my father died to get in with this crowd. They were no more your friends then I was your girlfriend. It was all in your own delusional little mind.”

“You obnoxious little slut!” he screamed and Donny, who was pushing through the crowd gawking at us, heard the last part and came to my rescue.

“What the hell is your problem man? Cool off!”

“That’s right! Come to her defense. What an ass! You’re just as bad as she is.”  With that Donny shoved Joe as hard as he could and Joe went flying across the sand. He got up warily from where he landed and started, wisely, to walk away. I was willing to be that Joe outweighed Donny by about forty pounds but what Donny lacked in bulk, he made up for in instinct. He was wiry and looking for a fight. Joe would have lost and been humiliated. By walking away, he looked the coward, but chances were some girl in that crowd thought a little bit better of him for being the pacifist. I had no doubt he thought all of this out before he walked away…always calculating.

“Hey Lucy,” he added before he left. “He’s only going to hurt you. I hope I’m wrong but if I’m not, you know where to find me.”  And with that he left. It was over but still the tears fell unwanted down my face. I ran out towards the dunes. I wanted to be alone, away from him. They were only words but sometimes words can cut as deep as the sharpest knife.

I don’t know how long I sat there feeling sorry for myself. I was getting cold. The sea air was damp. It took that long for them to find me, Cleo and Donny. They had sent everyone home before they came to find me, and they had packed up the remnants of the party. I felt a jacket go around my shoulders. From the scent of the after-shave, I knew that it was Donny’s leather one. Not something I would part with lightly.

Cleo took a seat on one side and he on the other, and we just sat there staring at the ocean, and watching the big fishing boats so far out at sea, like they were lost in the dark abyss. I felt a little like those boats that night, so alone, so terribly alone. I still had Cleo and Donny, yes, but I had lost both parents, my brother, who was my best friend, and now Joe. I didn’t want to lose him like that. We were so close. It hurt. I think they knew that because they just let me sit there in silence and when I started to cry, Cleo had her arms around me in a second.

When I got home that night, I poured my heart out to Grammy. She was a little taken aback that I had kissed Donny. I knew that if she had been anyone else’s Grammy, they would have taken the opportunity to have the “the big talk.” But not my Grammy, she just sat there listening and not passing judgment.

Finally, when I was all done, she imparted one bit of wisdom to me. “Lucy, honey, just remember that every relationship is like a rose. It needs to be tended, cut back now and again, handled with kid gloves and be wary of thorns. But if you give it enough attention, enough love, it will blossom into a beautiful flower. Joe is just cutting through a thorny part. Friends like him, well, they are few and far between, but he will be your friend for life.”

That advice stuck with me for life you know. I would always think of it when I felt like I was at an impasse in a relationship. I would just cut the thorns back and try again. Sure enough, the rose would bloom again and again.