Princess Gertie – Gets Sent to Charm School

After dinner and dessert were finished, it was time for our company to leave. Prince Reginald stopped at the doorway and offered me his cheek.

“You must kiss me,” he said, “After all, that is what princesses do.”

I looked around at all the grown-ups, who were smiling down at us, as if he was the cutest thing that had ever seen. I couldn’t take anymore.

Before I knew it, I had picked up my hand, made in into a fist, and punched Reginald right in his nose and I said, “Because that is what princesses do.” Then I turned and ran to my room.

My father apologized to our company, and my mother just cried and cried.

“She will never find a husband acting like that!” I heard the King Blah Blah Blah say, “The engagement is off!” The door slammed on their way out.

Engaged? Me? I’m only seven! What were they thinking? I hid under my blankets and pretended to sleep but that didn’t fool my father. I think kings-to-be know everything. He told me that it was very important that I was nice to Reginald and his family because we were to be married when we were older. I told him that there was no way; in this world or any other, that I was going to marry stuffy old Reginald the Third.

Dad said I was going to charm school to learn what princesses do. And so that is how I ended up here, but I have to tell you. It is not going very well.

Charm School – Day One

On the first day of charm school, Princess Penelope read us the first rule of being a princess.

“The first rule of being a princess is this:

A princess must always look her best

In the latest fashions she will be a success

From the top of her head to the tip of her toes

In ruffles and lace, satin and bows.”

I looked at all of my schoolmates. They smoothed out their dresses and sat very prim and proper. They hid behind white-gloved hands and whispered about me. I am sure I looked very silly to them, in my plain cotton dress, but I was comfortable. So I dared to ask:

“Why?”

“Excuse me Princess Gertrude, why what?”

“Why do we have to dress in those silly dresses? You can’t play in them, or ride a horse, or run. They get torn, and dirty if you climb a tree. They are hot too. Why do we have to wear them?”

“Because that is just what princesses do,” Princess Penelope answered sweetly.

Charm School – Day Two

The next day brought a new princess rule from Princess Penelope.

“The second rule of being a princess is this:

If when walking down the street

A small green frog you should chance to meet

You must grant him one swift kiss

So a chance for true love you will not miss.”

I raised my hand. I just had to ask a question; one small itty-bitty question.

Princess Penelope sighed. “Yes Princess Gertrude?”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do we have to kiss a frog? They are slimy and disgusting and well, they are green.”

“Because, Gertrude, frogs are often enchanted and turn into princes. Everyone knows that. And you want to meet a handsome prince don’t you?”

“Why?”

“Because that is just what princesses do!’ Princess Penelope was not as sweet today.