Princess Gertie – day 2

In which Princess Gertie plays with the insufferable Reginald.

“Why don’t you two go to play together?” my mother said, and she smiled at me. It was such a hopeful smile. And then she looked at the other queen, who looked back at her, and then they smiled at us, and I found the whole thing kind of creepy because I didn’t know why there was so much smiling going on.

Reginald and I went out to the garden together. He was staring at me. It was kind of weird.

“So, can I call you Reggie?” I asked.

“You most certainly may not. You may call me Prince Reginald.” He said.

“Okay, Prince Reginald. Do you want to play a game or something?”

“What kind of game is this that you speak of Princess Gertrude?”

“Okay, look, you can call me Gertie, cause that’s what all my friends do and you can stop being so serious, the adults are in the castle. Why don’t we play catch?”

“Alright Princess Gertrude let us play an exciting game of catch.”

I cringed because he used my full name again. Only my parents do that. Already I didn’t like this boy very much. Still, I meant to make the best of it, that’s what my Grandma always says to do. She also tells me to smile so that people wonder what I’m up to. My father says she is a bad influence, but I think she is a lot of fun. She says I am full of spunk and vinegar.

I got the ball and we tossed it back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. I tried to throw a wild pitch at him, and Prince Reginald did not move an inch. The ball landed on the ground with a thud.

“Go and get it.” Prince Reginald said.

“You get it. It was your turn to catch the ball.”

“You must go and fetch it for me. After all, that is what princesses do.”

I looked at him as if he had three heads, but I got the ball anyway.

“I am tired of playing catch. Would you like to go play in my castle? We can pretend that we are under attack by an evil army.” Reginald must have liked that idea; I thought I even saw a sparkle in his eyes.

“Yes, Princess Gertrude let us go to your castle.”

So we went. But when we got there, Reginald stared at me when I started to fight the pretend army.

“Go into the kitchen Princess Gertrude and make me some dinner, for I will be very hungry when I am done fighting this army. After all, that is what princesses do.”

I stared at him again. This was a new way of playing this game and I did not like it. But Reginald was my guest and so I made a pretend meal for him. I laughed when he ate the pretend spiders and worms that I added to his invisible stew. He never even knew they were there. In fact, when he was finished, he declared it was the best invisible stew he had ever had.

“Okay, now you have been captured by a ferocious dragon. I must be your brave knight and come and save you.”

I sat in the turret of my play castle and crossed my arms as Reginald pretended to ride a horse.

“You must scream Princess Gertrude.”

“Why?”

“Because you are afraid of the dragon and after all, screaming is what princesses do.”

I was going to scream all right, but not because he wanted me to. I was going to scream because he was driving me nuts. Calm down Gertrude, I told myself. He is just a boy, after all.

“Aaah, aaah oh no, who will save me from the mean mean dragon?” I said with as much excitement as I could muster.

Reginald of course, could and did as I sat there grumpily watching him fight.

“Time for dinner,” my mother called. I was never so happy to have to go and sit through a boring dinner.

We went inside and Reginald stood at his chair. He stared at me. “Pull it out for me,” he said. “After all that is what princesses do.”

I think steam was pouring from my ears, when my mother gave me a little push in Reginald’s direction. I pulled out his stupid chair and wished that it would break when he sat on it.

We ate dinner and I pretended that my potatoes were Reginald, and I mashed them up even more.